gossip girl 11 英文-第27章

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because　she　didn？twant　it　to　be　true。　

　Didn？t　she？　

Dan　closed　his　eyes；　remembering　the　feel　of　Greg？s　lips　on　his；　his　scratchy　blond　chin　stubble　
scraping　against　Dan？s　jaw。　The　more　he　went　over　it　in　his　mind；　Dan　wasn？t　even　sure　how　he　
felt　about　the　kiss　anymore？or　about　Greg？except　that　he　was　pretty　sure　he　didn？t　really　have　any　
desire　to　do　it　again　anytime　soon。　He？d　promised　himself　he　was　going　to　get　to　the　bottom　of　
this　before　he　hopped　into　the　1977　Buick　Skylark　his　dad　had　given　him　for　graduation　and　drove　
to　Evergreen　in　ten　days。　If　he　were　going　to　reinvent　himself　in　college；　which　was　basically　the　
whole　point　of　going　to　college　in　the　first　place；　figuring　out　his　sexuality　would　be　a　good　place　
to　start。　He？d　even　picked　up　a　book　at　the　Strand；　where　he？d　worked　all　summer；　
calledUnlocking　the　Closet　。　It　explained　that　feelings　of　confusion　and　despair　were　natural　while　
you　were　transitioning　from　one　sexual　identity　to　another；　and　said　that　one　should　be　totally　
willing　to　ask　oneself　the　really　？tough？　questions。　Which　he　really　was　trying　to　do。　Like；　if　he　
wasn？t　truly　gay；　then　why　had　he　kissed　Greg　in　the　first　place？　Then　again；　why　was　Vanessa　
suddenly　looking　so　hot　with　newsprint　smudges　across　her　pale　cheek？

　Good　question。　

Dan　moved　over　to　the　sad　gray　curtains　shading　the　floor…to…ceiling　windows　in　the　musty　living　
room　and　attempted　to　tie　one　limp　side　back　with　a　twist　tie　he？d　found　with　the　garbage　bags　
under　the　kitchen　sink。　The　yellow　twist　tie　fell　to　the　ground　and　he　bent　down　to　pick　it　up。　

Vanessa　sighed　as　she　watched　him。　He　was　really　going　to　have　to　get　in　touch　with　his　inner　
diva　if　he　was　going　to　make　a　go　of　it　as　a　New　York　City…bred　gay　man。　

？There；　how？s　that？？　Dan　secured　the　garbage　tie　and　stood　back　to　admire　his　handiwork；　
looking　more　optimistic　than　he　had　all　day。　He　placed　both　hands　on　his　hips。　？Somuch　better；　
right？？　The　fabric　hung　to　the　side；　exposing　the　dirty　hand…printed　and　dust…streaked　window。　
Vanessa　looked　from　the　window　to　her　ex…boyfriend？who　now　apparently　had　boyfriends　of　his　
own。　？Uh　。　。　。　yeah；？　she　intoned；　fluffing　a　lumpy　brown　leather　sofa　pillow　that　resembled　a　
giant　potato。　？That？s　just　great。　I？m　sure　we？ll　be　featured　inTown　&　Country　next　month。？　The　


truth　was；　Vanessa　kind　of　missed　him。　After　returning　from　a　hellish　stint　as　a　nanny　and　then　
some　sort　of　fashion　muse　out　in　the　Hamptons；　and　since　Greg　had　left　for　Phoenix；　she　and　Dan　
had　spent　the　last　month　hanging　out　in　the　city；　but　it　had　been　。　。　。　different。　They　had　fallen　into　
a　fortable；　friendly　sort　of　small…talk…making　rapport？with　none　of　the　sexual　tension　or　
heated　argument　you？d　expect　from　two　exes　living　in　such　close　quarters。　

With　so　little　time　before　Dan　left　for　college；　Vanessa　couldn？t　believe　that　this　was　the　way　
they　were　going　to　leave　things。　Not　even　one　last　lingering　kiss　or　one　last　roll　in　the　hay？　Every　
time　Dan　brushed　past　her　when　he　was　making　his　umpteenth　cup　of　Folgers　crystals；　or　on　the　
way　to　the　bathroom；　when　she　caught　a　whiff　of　stale　Camels　and　coffee　grounds；　she　had　to　stop　
herself　from　throwing　him　down　on　the　dust…bunny…littered　floor　and　ripping　off　his　brown；　
frayed…at…the…bottom；　zillion…year…old　cords。　In　fact；　now　that　Dan　was　gay？and　pletely　
unattainable？the　thought　was　more　appealing　than　ever。　

A　key　jiggled　in　the　front　door　and　it　swung　open　with　a　bang　as　Rufus　Humphrey？s　bulk　filled　
the　doorway。　He　wore　a　pair　of　denim　overalls　splattered　in　white　paint　with　a　faded　brown　
ANTEATERS　HAVE　FEELINGS　TOO　T…shirt　underneath；　and　scuffed；　red　bowling　shoes　on　his　
feet。　A　white　straw　Panama　hat　was　perched　jauntily　atop　his　wiry；　shoulder…length　gray　hair；　and　
his　bushy　salt…and…pepper　beard　was　partially　braided；　with　a　hot　pink　elastic　at　the　end。　

？Hey　Dad；？　Dan　called　from　his　station　at　the　window。　？Check　out？？　？Close　your　eyes；　Dan！？　
Rufus　boomed；　holding　up　one　hand；　palm　out　in　a　stop…in…the…name…of…love　pose；　as　if　he　were　
auditioning　to　be　the　next　Supreme。　Dan　was　too　surprised　to　do　anything　but　ply。　He　closed　
his　eyes；　his　mind　racing　with　the　possibilities。　Chinese　food　for　lunch？　He　was　starving。　An　iPod　
to　take　to　college　with　him？　A　first　edition　of　his　favorite　novel　of　all　time；The　Sorrows　of　Young　
Werther　by　Goethe？　

？Danny；　darrrrrrrling！？　A　preening；　soprano…pitched　voice　sang　out　behind　Rufus。　Dan？s　eyes　
snapped　open。　Whatever　he　was　expecting；　it　definitely　wasn？t　this。　

　？Mom？！？　

Jeanette　Humphrey　flew　into　the　room　like　an　exotic　bird　just　released　from　captivity；　dressed　in　
a　turquoise　floor…length　sundress　and　carrying　two　large　brown　shopping　bags。　She　threw　her　long；　
gray…streaked　mousy　brown　hair　over　one　shoulder；　elbowed　Rufus　aside　with　an　exasperated　sigh；　
and　flung　her　skinny　arms　around　Dan　in　a　cloud　of　poisonously　strong　floral　perfume。　Dan　just　
stood　there　in　a　state　of　shock；　his　arms　like　chow　fun　noodles　as　he　tried　to　wrap　his　mind　around　
the　fact　that　this　was　actually　happening。　What　the　fuck？　Was　this　really　his　mother；　after；　what；ten　
years？　Or　was　this　an　acid　flashback；　like　a　real…life　Howl　poem？　Oh　wait；　he　had　never　done　acid。　
What　was　shedoing　here？　

Vanessa　watched　with　a　fascination　that　bordered　on　horror　as　the　mythical　Mrs。　Humphrey　
proceeded　to　kiss　Dan　all　over　his　face；　leaving　violent　tracks　of　bright　pink　lipstick　smeared　
across　his　sunken　cheeks。　


？Howare　you；　my　pet？？　Jeanette　chirped　as　she　squeezed　her　son　so　tightly　it　looked　like　he　
might　suffer　internal　organ　damage。　？It？s　been　absolutelyages　！？　She　cupped　Dan？s　pained；　
mortified　face　and　led　him；　zombielike；　to　the　couch。　Vanessa　had　never　seen　him　get　whisked　
around　before　and　with　so　little　plaint。　Rufus　winked　merrily　at　Vanessa　from　beneath　his　
white　hat；　and　sauntered　through　the　chipped；　oak…trimmed　doorway　into　the　kitchen。　Vanessa　
followed　him；　not　quite　sure　where　to　go。　Rufus　pulled　out　a　clear　Tupperware　container　full　of　
weird　brown　goo　that　had　been　shoved　in　the　back　of　the　fridge；　peeling　back　the　lid　and　sniffing　
happily。　

？Redecorating？？　His　voice　boomed　as　he　opened　the　utensil　drawer　and　rummaged　through　
it。　？The　curtains　look　phenomenal！　That　your　golden　touch；　Dan？？　Rufus　yelled　toward　the　living　
room。　？This　place　could　usesomething　；　that？s　for　sure。？　He　pulled　out　a　lime　green　spatula　and　
began　using　it　as　a　spoon。　

？It　could　use　something？like　a　wrecking　ball！？　Jeanette？s　voice　rang　out　from　the　other　
room。　？Or　a　can　of　gasoline　and　a　lit　match！？　She　came　striding　into　the　kitchen；　the　blue　folds　of　
her　sundress　flying　to　and　fro；　while　Dan　trailed　behind；　carrying　her　bags。　Gliding　up　to　Vanessa；　
she　smiled　broadly　and　extended　one　hand　laden　with　turquoise　rings　for　Vanessa　to　shake　。　。　。　or　
kiss　。　。　。　or　high…five？　It　was　hard　to　tell；　the　way　she　was　holding　it；　and　finally　Vanessa　just　
bumped　fists　with　her　like　they　were　old　homies。　

　What　up；　dawg？　

It　was　so　strange　meeting　Dan？s　mom　after　all　this　time？it　was　like　looking　at　a　slightly　more　
feminine　version　of　Dan？plete　with　long　brown　hair　and　too　much　hippie　jewelry。　？You　must　
be　Vanessa；？　Jeanette　exclaimed；　her　hazel…blue　eyes　sparkling　manically。　？I？ve　heardso　much　
about　you。？　？You　too；？　Vanessa　lied；　because　in　truth；　she　really　hadn？t。　As　far　as　she　knew；　Dan？s　
mom　had　disappeared　with　Count　Dracula　or　Count　Chocula　or　something　and　was　never　heard　
from　again。　

Dan？s　palms　were　slick　with　sweat　and　his　wrists　trembled　under　the　weight　of　the　bags。　His　
mother。　Really；　she　was　the　last　thing　he　needed。　On　top　of　trying　to　figure　out　once　and　for　all　
whether　or　not　he　was　gay；　he　was　going　to　have　to　play　catch…up　with　this　person　who　had　
basically　abandoned　him　when　he　was　only　eight。　Or　was　he　ten？　She？s　been　gone　so　long　he　
really　couldn？t　remember。　He？d　certainly　stopped　missing　her　years　ago；　but　now　here　she　was　in　
all　her　perfumed；　turquoise　jewelry…wearing　glory；　acting　like　her　presence　was　really　no　big　deal。　
Jesus。　Jenny　had　seen　their　mom　in　Prague。Why　hadn？t　shewarned　him？　

Dan　brought　in　his　mother？s　packages　and　placed　them　gently　on　the　kitchen　floor。　Vanessa　tried　
to　make　eye　contact　with　him　but　his　eyes　were　glued　downward；　and　he　was　seemingly　deep　in　
thought。　Or　in　a　trance。　Maybe　his　mother　had　hypnotized　him？　Maybe　she　was　a　New　Age　
gypsy？　


？Now；　Dan；？　Jeanette　began；　as　she　rooted　through　the　cavernous　bags；　pulling　out　assorted　
packages　and　placing　them　on　top　of　the　piles　of　newspapers　covering　the　kitchen　table；　？Jenny　
told　me　all　about　your　special　announcement；　and　I？m　here　to　help　you　celebrate！？　Vanessa　stifled　
a　nervous　laugh　as　Dan？s　face　turned　sheet　white。　

Rufus　held　the　spatula；　piled　with　what　Vanessa　was　now　convinced　was　dog　food；　even　though　
they　didn？t　have　a　dog。　？What　announcement？？　？Coffee！？　Jeanette　chirped　excitedly　opening　a　
large　pink　box　and　shoving　the　contents　under　Dan？s　nose。　？Will　go　perfectly　withthese　。？　Dan　
craned　his　neck　and　peered　inside。　Cradled　in　white　wax　paper　was　a　chocolate　？clair。　Two　pl